It is my first time to experience the celebration of Chinese New Year in the oldest China Town in the world, Binondo Manila. The vibe of festivity and positivity is everywhere in the place and everyone reflects the outlook of prosperity.
Well today is nice. Trying to feel more better and thankfully I was refreshed today again. It’s Sunday and church really helps me a lot to gradually bring me back to my senses and somehow boost me up to face another week again. Everyday for me is trying times and I am grateful how God still really on the work with me though He knows how I look miserable like almost everyday. Still I am blessed and grateful because i know He knows what I am dealing with. I am very sorry for Him for my actions because I know I hurt Him. But the hope I have for keep on going is that He knows It’s hard and He knows I’m trying.
Today here in the Philippines celabrates the feast of the Black Nazarene. This is on every news this morning. It is a Catholic Tradition of Devotion to the Relic. Well I am not going to further elaborate about this one for those who might read this that didn’t know but I encourage you to research about it and understand it on your own. But I just want to point out something. As some of you may know that here in the Philippines, the majority of beliefs is about Christianity and It is compose of different denominations such as Roman Catholic which has the large number of population, then Born Again Christians,Protestants, Iglesia ni Cristo and so on the rest of some different Christian Groups. Muslims holds ten percent of the population which makes it the second largest religion in our country. And every year since we have different kind of traditions and beliefs of each religious group and since Filipinos are very active when it comes to social media. Outrage of Opinions, statements and arguments blows out about this event which only leads to more hostile conversations and just lost of respect with each other. Composing Facebook status or tweets just to expound that they are better than everyone else. Ever since then I always hope that we should not be entitled ourselves as a better or smarter person just because we are part of not only in a certain religious group but as well as in political party, local organizations and even Fandoms. We have to understand that though there are some common things that we are agreeing with, still we are different human beings with different perceptions of our reality. Instead of being triggered on whatever you are disagreeing with, learn how to just respect. A simple respect. That’s it.
Today starts again the Typical Monday for every Filipinos. The comeback reality of working days. This morning, I took this photo and I know as an everyday commuter I witness a lot of this and I can really relate of this kind of situation and it is kind of funny when people are like in this kind of a zombie survival movie while every bus that comes is like their last chance of survival. A typical working Filipino like me spend maximum of 6 hours a DAY on the road plus the 8 hours require working hours plus some overtime 5 to 6 days a week or for others it’s just everyday and really it is exhausting. I remember a saying in one of the street art in Makati (The place where I work) saying “NEVER GET SO BUSY MAKING A LIVING THAT YOU FORGET TO MAKE A LIFE”
It’s the first Sunday of the year. I took this photo right after I went to church and I just recently discover this place nearby and it is nice. The colors and those simple cute structures just make you feel like a kid again. It is good sometimes to reminisce those days when we are this kind of small human being. Those times where we are just simply enjoying the moment we have with our playgrounds and playmates. The particular stage in our life where we don’t really think about a lot of things, about our past or our future. It is the present moment that we have and the mentality of making the most of our day to just have fun. Right now, I’m currently into adulthood stage. For some who can relate, we think more of our future and always reassessing our past that we are so consumed about it, experience a lot of emotions and forgot how to lighten up and enjoy life even once in a while. I think we must remember how that it feels.
The first weekdays of the first month of 2018 is done. And It’s friday weekend. Unlike yesterday, the morning sun shines so bright today. It somehow helps to lighten me up. My mental state is quite better than yesterday and I was able to handle those usual urges. This day is just fine. Just fine. I always feel relief whenever I know that It’s already friday. I know I can have a break and just have the time to spend it on my own way. Thank You God! Though It was a though week, I survive again anyway.
Same street that I walk everyday. I know I have to be thankful every time that I wake up in the morning and every time that i got home safe. But I just can’t explain what I really just felt on this day. I am very familiar of this kind of situation or feeling that i usually face and I can call it the “usual feeling”. It is just full of emotions and feelings and whatsoever. I do not know I just call it usual because i think it has been usual for me to be in that kind of state, I mean it’s almost everyday. How I wish I can say it all the things in my mind but I think I can’t get the sense and it is not going anywhere anyway. Whenever i knew that I am about to encounter again that “Usual” feeling that I am saying, I can’t help but to cry. I just can’t and just some point of this day I just don’t understand and just feel numb at the same time. I feel that I am alone in the situation. I can’t help to just say “Forgive me for being like this”.
Back to work for me and here comes the possibility of having urges in anxiety or panic attacks again. As I walk going to the office, with my earphones listening to music to somehow calm myself, the music of the band Hale (a Filipino rock band) comes along with their song “Blue Sky”. Well the song really contradicts the weather. The sky is actually gray as you can see on the photo. I eventually relate it to my condition. Blue Sky for me is kind of representation of what I always look forward to everyday where the Sun shines and you can see colors everywhere in full vibrant, so calming and relaxing, but it seems that those gray and thick clouds covers the blue sky that I wanted to. In the lyrics as it plays said that “There will always be a blue sky waiting tomorrow full of hope”. Yes hope is what i hold on to in every gloomy weather that I face. Hoping for a blue sky always.
Some of our old photographs are getting faded, so i decided to preserve these photos by taking picture of it one by one. Looking at these pictures reminds me of the things that I have for the past years, as well as the things that I don’t have already. I realize that I been through a lot and all of these places and moments are already with me till the end. Photographs are the snapshots and a simple tangible glimpse of these intangible moments. That is why I love taking pictures and keeping it, because things will never be the same again. Anyway Continue to be better folks! Happy New Year.